“I don’t need to be a better communicator”, said no one, ever!
- Written by
- Steph Holloway
And if you did, I hate to burst your bubble, but you’re deceiving yourself.
Unless body language is your first language, you are missing out every day – in every single human interaction.
If you’re only using words and listening, you’ll be around 7% effective as a communicator at best. The other 93%, which is body language, is where the hidden clues lie.
What you’re actually seeing by the time you recognise someone’s body language is not just what they are thinking, but what they are feeling. Body language comes from the subconscious, and is attached to the emotions of human interactions.
Imagine what your life would look and feel like with more clarity, less misperception, and more insight into what people are thinking and feeling? The clues are there – really! You just miss them.
One half of the equation is in the decode. Decoding incoming body language helps you to learn what really happened in response to something that was said or done.
The other half of the equation is in the ‘directional’ outgoing body language. This influences and ‘directs’ what you want to happen – a powerful tool in business and personal relationships.
So, what’s the easiest way to learn body language? Here are some clues…
- Assess the space that people are using and observe how they are using it, e.g. where they’re leaning is where they want to be.
- Look at what a person is like when they are at ease, (when they think no one is watching), use that as their baseline. Then if anything changes, you’ll know something is up (good or bad).
- Picture a clock face around them, where on the clock are their hands? Down at six means everyday comfort or still a request, between three and nine is maybe no longer a request, something you want done. If someone’s hands are operating at twelve, it’s probably much more important.
- Look for ‘gestures’ during conversations where people touch their own face and head. It all means something – if they are thinking, want to hear, feel stressed, intrigued, frustrated. Watch carefully for micro-expressions of the face (which only last a few seconds) for clues about the real emotions being expressed.
Communication is key to every aspect of your life, so being effective in this area will only make your life easier. Look no further if you want a new superpower where you don’t need undies on the outside.